How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
