I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize