I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
