I need help removing her.
I look better un-naked...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
