It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
