fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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