Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
