I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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