I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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