do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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