You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
