i just identified you from a description of your pipe
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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