if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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