hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
