I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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