I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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