Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
