That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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