He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
