Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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