yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My ass is underappreciated
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why did my mother make you get naked?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
