just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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