but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
