I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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