If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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