I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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