So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Blood and glitter go together right?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
