Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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