separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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