I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize