remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
