Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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