Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
