If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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