champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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