everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
