better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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