Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
