I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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