at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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