ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
