And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
