yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
