Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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