nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
