I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
