i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
