Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
