Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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