It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
