I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My hand turned me down
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize