I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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