jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
