we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
