so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
