you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found puke in my bra..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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