i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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