garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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