Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
