glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
